Wisdom in the Dark

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by Brittany Vallejo

“Want to know what it’s like to have four kids? Imagine you’re drowning… and then someone hands you a baby.” – Jim Gaffigan

Our house has felt a bit like this lately. Between homeschooling two children, sitting in carpool lines with another, and nursing a baby every 3 hours, I barely have time to brush my teeth some days (literally … don’t get too close to me if you run into me at Target!) My days are filled with what most stay-at-home moms experience: wiping runny noses, changing diapers, making sure sheets are clean, and preparing a somewhat healthy dinner. After the birth of our newest son, Isaiah, life got more complicated while we navigated tummy and sleeping issues and I started to let anxiety, stress, and anger creep their way into my life. I found myself constantly saying, “Don’t wake the baby,” “Be quiet!” and “Why can’t you just clean up after yourselves?” I was taking out my stress on my older children and spending hours searching Google for answers on “How to sleep train your infant”. I was desperate for some sleep and blaming my bad attitude on sleep deprivation.

Then a few realities hit me in a way only God can bring about. It was like I heard a voice whisper in the midst of a night feeding, “Come to me. I will give you wisdom.” I was reminded that only Jesus has the REAL answers to my questions. It was like He was saying to me, “I made Isaiah, and I made you his mom. Ask me, and I will give you wisdom. I will show you what you need to know about your baby.”

I took a deep breath, and a sigh of relief, as I prayed out loud over my son. I prayed that God would show me how to get him to rest better and what decisions need to be made regarding his health. I am amazed at the peace that comes along with trusting Jesus with the decisions I am making with my children.

Another day, in the midst of losing my temper, then feeling the mom-guilt afterwards, I felt the Lord asking me, “What are your idols? What are you worshipping right now?”

I looked around at the disorganized school room, and clothes strewn about, and realized I had made an orderly and quiet house an idol. Whenever it was bumped into I would lose my temper, begging for things to be restored. How freeing it has been to recognize this idol and surrender it daily (sometimes hourly) to the Lord, putting Him back in his rightful place on the throne of my heart.

Fellow parents, discipling our children is not for the faint of heart, but God has entrusted us with such a beautiful and messy job. Come to Him for wisdom; with potty training, teething, help with teaching math, and issues with making friends. No situation is so small that Jesus is not willing to step in.

If anyone lacks wisdom, you should ask God who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

James 1:5

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